My A Game is Long Gone

In my pre-baby, pre-pink slip days, I was a busy professional who managed large budgets and multiple projects. I took pride in my work and I was known for being the go-to person to get things done. It was a role that I thrived in. But since the little one arrived nine months ago, it seems like the wheels have fallen off my A game. 


When I went back to work, I had more than my fair share of bad days. There was the day I showed up wearing a shirt with spit up on the shoulder, then there was the time that I pulled a pacifier out of my pocket in the middle of a meeting, and of course the creme de la creme was the day that I noticed at 3 PM I only had on half of my makeup. Fortunately, nobody said anything to me and they probably didn't notice but I did and it bothered me. At time, I just chalked it up to the sleep deprivation and adjusting to being back at work after 12 weeks. 


Now here I am four months into unemployment and it seems as though I'm going through another one of these phases where nothing I can do is right. In the last week, I've washed my iPod (for the record, it doesn't survive the delicate cycle), showed up a day early for a playdate, and locked myself out of the house (fortunately, the baby was with me and not in the house.) 


Even though I don't have the day-to-day stress of getting up and going to a job. I am just as stressed today as I was four months ago. It's just different stress and different guilt. When I was working I was stressed out about being late to work, stressed about spending quality time with my husband and baby, and stressed about getting dinner cooked and the house cleaned. 


Now I'm dealing with the stress of having a very busy crawler on my hands who always needs to be watched and entertained, the stress of juggling nap schedules and babysitters for interviews, the stress of job hunting and the lack of quality jobs, the stress of having too much week and not enough money, and the stress of finding the time to do it all. Actually, I might be more stressed out now than when I worked and that makes no sense at all. 


What is it about motherhood that I can't manage? More importantly, am I the only new mom out there that can't seem to get it together? I don't know why or how but I hope I find my groove soon and get my A game back because at this rate there's no telling what will happen next. 

Thankful Friday: Former Coworkers

Last weekend, I had a girls lunch with my friend and former coworker - T. Unfortunately, she lives and works across town so we don't see each other nearly enough. I always have a great time hanging out with T and it was nice to get away from the house for a few hours. 


Like most people that live in Atlanta, I'm not from here but I've been here now for over 11 years. In the decade plus that I've lived and worked here, I have changed jobs on average every two years. I know its not for everyone but I think I'm pretty lucky that I've had a lot of jobs. I've been very fortunate to work with a great group of people. In a lot of ways, my former coworkers are my community here in Atlanta. When I have a project that I need help with I know that I can call on any one of them to help me out or recommend a vendor. I've been passed along job leads and freelance opportunities from many of them as well over the years. 


Now with Facebook and Twitter, I am able to keep up with many of them and it has been such a pleasure to see how their lives have changed both personally and professionally. We spend most of our days at work so its great to have a work family that you enjoy being around and who inspire you to do good work. I'm optimistic with the track record I have had that there is another great team out there somewhere waiting for me to join them. 

Homemade Pesto

This summer, we've been eating a lot of pasta. Its easy and pretty simple enough me to whip with just a few ingredients. A few weeks ago I went to a local farmer's market and one of the vendors had a orzo, chickpea, and tomato salad with a spinach pesto. I'm not a huge fan of pesto but this pesto sauce was delicious. Maybe it was because it was made with spinach I don't know but I loved it. 


Last week, I got a wild hair and took to the internet to find a pesto recipe. I had some fresh spinach, arugula, and basil - the perfect ingredients for pesto. I found this recipe to use as my guide. 


I started by toasting my pine nuts on the stovetop. I was afraid they were going to burn so I didn't toast them too long. 

Once I got the argula, spinach, and basil washed and dried, I put it in the food processor with the pine nuts, garlic, and parmesan cheese. 

Then I just hit the puree button, once it got to this consistency, I put the lid on and drizzled the oil olive in while it blended. 

This is what my final pesto looked like with ravoli from Trader Joe's. My husband loves pesto so he thought this was the best pasta we have had in months. I'm not a huge fan of pesto since it can be too oily or too garlicky. I loved this recipe since I could control the amount of garlic and oil. We even had a little bit left over so I'm freezing it for us to use in another dish. I will probably end up making a few more batches while the basil in my garden is still thriving. It will be great to have such a light and summer dish this winter. 

Thankful Fridays

Recently, a friend turned me onto the blog thxthxthx. I read that the blog’s author just had a book published based on her blog, so I think I’m a little late to this party. I’ve been struggling over the last few weeks to remain positive. As a veteran of unemployment, I know that this is a funk that every job seeker faces. Money is tight and employers aren’t calling. I also know the worst thing to do it is to give into this mood.

I decided to start “Thankful Fridays” as a way to remind myself that despite my current circumstances that I have a lot to be thankful for. Why is it always so easy to focus on the negative and never the positive? So here it goes, my first "Thankful Friday" post. 

Today, I am most thankful for my new role of mother. In our lifetime, we have a lot of titles and roles. I was born with the title of daughter, granddaughter, then I became a sister, a friend, a student, a writer, a high school graduate, a world traveler, a college graduate, an employee, a co-worker, a colleague, a volunteer, a wife, a boss, a blogger, a marketer, a documentary filmmaker, and now I’m a mother. Motherhood was never a role I thought I would take on but I’m so thankful that I have been blessed with it. It really is the hardest role I have every had but everyday I know that I have been trusted with such a precious gift.

What are you thankful for this Friday?

The Great Cloth Diaper Experiment

While I was pregnant, I seriously considered using cloth diapers. But once the little man arrived and I had a few diaper changes under my belt I decided I wasn’t hardy enough to try it. Once W was on solid food I revisited the idea of cloth diapers. Fortunately, cloth diapers have come along way – or at least that is what my mom says - and they are super easy to use. 

I thought about using a diaper service but I decided to save my money and go out on my own. I purchased six Bumkins contoured diapers and a Thirsties diaper cover. Right now, I use the cloth diapers a couple of times a day since I only have one diaper cover. I am about to order another one but I was hoping to find a Bumkins brand cover. 

Bumkins contoured diaper

Thirsties cover 

Diaper inserted into the cover

My only complaint so far is the bulkiness of the diapers. It might be because I'm using the contoured diapers. Even though I've only been using them for a few weeks, we haven't had any leaks. Which is great because W is crawling and pulling himself up - he never stays in one place too long. It has been a pretty hot summer here in Atlanta so I feel like the cloth diapers are better for W's skin since they should breathe easier. Plus, it's been pretty easy to dry them outside on a drying rack. As far as care goes, I just wash the diapers using Dreft and when possible I dry them outside or run them in the dryer. 

W in action

 I know there is a lot of debate as to how much money you save since you are using more resource such as energy and water by washing the diapers. This is the same argument that many use for why its not necessarily better for the environment to use cloth diapers. Regardless of how much money I save or the environmental impact that I may or may not be making, it certainly feels better knowing that I'm keeping a few diapers out of the landfill. 

Keeping Cool at the Georgia Aquarium

Earlier this summer, we had a friend visit us from New England. The few days he was in town it was HOT. So instead of sitting around our house, we decided to venture downtown to the Georgia Aquarium. At first, we were concerned that W wouldn't enjoy it or it would be too much for him since he was only 6 months-old but we were wrong. W loved it.

W trying to pet the penguins

W really enjoyed watching the penguins and trying to pet them through the glass. He also loved watching the beluga whales, whale sharks and the manta rays. 

Watching the penguins swim by

I'm sure as W gets older he will enjoy the "petting" areas and the playground, but for now he enjoys just watching the fish swim by. We ended up getting annual passes so we can visit every few months. I'm sure each time we go he will take in more of the exhibits and experience the aquarium even more. I can't wait to see how well he does on our next visit. 

The Picture Show

Since I'm at home now, I have been watching more TV and seen more movie trailers than I care to comment on. But there are a few movies that I'm dying to see. Since it would take a bank loan to buy two tickets and pay for a babysitter, I will either be going with a friend to the theater or waiting until these come out on DVD. These are just a few of the movies I would love to see this summer on the big screen. 


The Help - I read this book last year and I can't wait to see the movie. 

Crazy Stupid Love - I'm only so-so on Steve Carrell in comedies but I really love to see him in more serious roles. I also really like Emma Stone and Julianne Moore so I think this is going to be a movie that I will enjoy seeing. 

One Day - I don't know much about this movie but I'm intrigued enough by the trailer to want to see it.

Midnight in Paris - I think I might be too late to see this in theaters but I love Woody Allen movies. Grant it most of his movies over the last few years haven't been his best but I think this movie will redeem him. Plus its set in Paris so it can't be that bad, right?

Have you seen any good movies lately?